Wednesday 28 January 2009

Twing, TWANG, Walla Walla Bing Bang

Hello everyone,

Well, here I am in my 16th week of pregnancy. Seems like it has been ages so far, and really I’ve barely started! I wonder if tiredness has irretrievably warped my internal calendar? I feel like I have been pregnant for years.

I am still feeling fairly okay – apart from feeling like I could sleep standing up most days, I’m getting by relatively unscathed. The only thing that is bothering me quite a bit at the moment is that I keep forgetting I’ve got a grapefruit-sized foreign body residing in my belly, and that if I get up too quickly the ligaments at either side of my bump (which are being stretched and flexed hourly as the little one grows) give an almighty TWANG to remind me to take it easy.

A painful almighty twang, I might add – such that it makes me yell, ‘OW!’ and then double over while everything relaxes. Then I can slowly put myself upright and allay the fears of my colleagues that I’m not about to give birth on my desk, and that really I’m just daft and got up too quick.

Jason is wise to it now. The first few times it happened he’d come running, all panicky-like with affectionate concern, ‘WHATSTHEMATTAWHATSTHEMATTA?!! AREYOUOKAY?! AREYOUOKAY?!?’ But now he hears an, ‘OW!’ and from whichever corner of the house he is in at the time, I hear him say, ‘Get. Up. Slowly.’

I’m sure we’re at the point now where he wants to punctuate the instruction with, ‘…you dumbass,’ but thankfully he is too kind-hearted and lovely to chastise me so. Mmmmmmmm, love the lovely Jason.

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