Sunday, 5 July 2009

Pineapple, Curries and Sex -- oh my!

Sunday, 5 July 2009
Me still being pregnant is starting to affect more than myself and those with whom I share a house. Last night, my Mum dreamed that I had been kidnapped by black market baby sellers, who were going to whisk my child off the moment I had it to sell it to the highest bidder! Creepy!

Don’t get too excited by this blog update: I have to report that nothing is happening so far. Not a twinge, not a tweak, not a cramp or a spasm to be had. All that seems to be happening is that – quite unbelievably – I’m getting bigger! The other day we were in Tesco buying a few groceries, and the checkout girl looked at me and said, “Dear me, how many have you got in there?” And then on Saturday when we were at the beach, a couple walked past us and the man said to the woman, “EEEEE wouldja look at the size of her belly!” Admittedly slightly sensitive about it, I muttered, “A little LOUDER NEXT TIME, fella!” but he didn’t hear me.

It could be worse, I suppose. Luckily I haven’t really fallen prey to the Feelerey Strokers' Brigade. You know who I’m talking about... those amongst society who descend on you with palms outstretched, ready to rub your tummy. I’m not that fussy anyway; I don’t mind too much. But I have to say I wasn’t exactly jumping through hoops thinking about the fact that two strangers in as many days have likened me to a zeppelin. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not exactly so offensive as to be truly hurtful or anything, but sarcastic and irritable cow that I am, it predisposes me to disdainful reply. Okay, so calling attention to the fact that I am 39 weeks pregnant is tantamount to pointing out that I have blonde hair – it’s just not news to me – but countering the Tesco lady’s observations with a remark, say, about her substantially colossal snout and bad 80's hair might have hurt her feelings a little. Tempting, though. Maybe this illustration of self-control means I'm finally turning into a grown up!

So we are slowly working our way through the list of stuff that is supposed to naturally kickstart labour. When I was having Ben, a curry did the trick. And ‘Chicago’ was on the TV that night; maybe it was all the jazz hands and tapdancing? But nothing is working so far. I’ll keep you posted... tonight I am going to eat lots and lots of pineapple. Wish me luck!

4 people had something to say about this...:

Bounty said...

Not really to go now.... Congratulations!! I arrived on your blog randomly and I really like like it! Just had my first little boy, such a wonderful experience. If you are thinking of names by the way, check out where you can search names by meaning and origin. My little boy is called Marlow and he is just perfect. Fingers are crossed everything goes well for you xx p.s. love your blog

Keisha Bod said...

lovely lady, oh 39 weeks...i know where you are...been there twice are in the final stretch! it is exciting and annoying i know. the question of when is constantly tomorrow? where is this babe? i'm pins and needles waiting...! xox k

Fame Throwa said...

Man, what is WITH people and their commenting and, worse, belly rubbing?

If I'm ever pregnant in the future, I'll be wearing a shirt for the entire time that says "Don't Touch!".

I applaud your ability to refrain from bopping these folks in the nose, let alone delivering a sarcastic remark.


dee tee said...

SEX with a belly your size!!!

Only joking honest. I think sex really works, as does walking, did a lot with all of my pregnancies at the end and all came early by a few days.