England is Confused

What in the name of ARSE is going on? My calendar tells me it is Friday 30th September. Traditionally at this time of year, I start eyeing up the pumpkins in the grocery store. My brain hosts a fiercely raging internal debate with itself about the sensibilities of going to the American import section of the grocery store and paying £6 for a can of pumpkin. I somehow cultivate an otherwise unexplained hankering for these effing disgusting Hallowe’en candies. 

If you actually like the taste of these, I'm sorry - we can't be friends anymore.



I start wearing tights a lot. I come in from work to my flannel pyjama bottoms and fluffy slippers. I have baths.  I drink hot drinks.  But this week, we’re all to cock. Here in the North East of England, we’ve seen temperatures spiking in the upper 20’s.

That’s Celsius, you cheeky buggers. Read: it’s bloody hot. Like, all week it has been marvellous. I mean, it hasn’t rained. THERE HASN’T BEEN ANY CLOUDS. This might not seem like a big deal to you – I’m looking at you, Canadians – but given at the end of July, at the height of “summer” this year I seriously considered putting my heating on to ward off the chill, this is huge. File under "Blow My Tiny Mind".

This is on my radio, and here are my thoughts in this glorious sunshine:

In no order of importance or significance, here is a small list of things that have occurred to me over this week while we have been enjoying the first hints of summer weather in my cozy corner of the world:

1. I wore flip flops to work today. I put toenail polish back on, in celebration of being able to get my toes out in the out of doors. And you know, because naked toes = kinda gross.
2. I put a load of towels out on my clothes line this morning, and when I got home from work they were dry. The whole street had clothes pegged out. In not completely unrelated news, I now know that the man at number 21 wears the same underpants as my husband.
3. The whole street is out frantically mowing lawns, taking full advantage of the situation and knowing it could all come shuddering to a wet, grey, rainy halt ANY SECOND NOW.  Even us:

I hope you’re all enjoying the unseasonably freakish warmness. Better late than never, Summer, eh? Don’t forget us again next year. See you in June.