Canuck Aboot Toon: Music

Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts

Thursday, 11 October 2012

The Subways, O2 Academy, Newcastle

Amazing.

Friday, 6 July 2012

Faith No More - If I Can't Go, I'll Just Make It Up In My Head

You probably already know that there’s more than one version of me – I’ve made no bones about it before. For example, in my professional life, I’m a meticulous planner and my Captain-von-Trappian organisational tendencies are unparalleled. But Weekend Nick? She is a pretty laid back kind of gal. You’ll find her with hardly any makeup, and so non-committal flying by the seat of her ripped jeans she's nary a care in the world. Making long term weekend plans is not her thing. “We’ll see,” she’ll say.

Except today, when someone asked me what my plans for the weekend were, my answer was out there without having missed a beat. “On Sunday I will mostly be moping, because Faith No More are playing two dates in London starting the day after tomorrow and I can’t go.” The tickets, dear readers, went on sale when I wasn’t working, so buying them as well as booking a hotel and train tickets was kind of out of the question. But now, the time has come and I’m proper doomed about it.

I’ll have a bit of a mope, and I’ll get over it. I’ll turn down my mouth and pout out my lip and puppy dog my eyes and do a bit of exasperated sighing and mooning. In preparation for this one-woman-pity-party, I spent a large part of today thinking about what kind of a setlist the band – who (unbelievably!) have so far eluded me for the duration of my gig-going tenure – might put together for the two London shows. And then I started dreaming up what kind of day I would have if I actually COULD get to the gig. And THEN, I started dreaming up exactly what kind of day I would have if I actually could get to the gig in a perfect world.

The last time I went to London was pretty hard to top, but I’ll give it a whirl.

Okay. So if it’s okay with you, I think I’ll set off on Saturday on the train. First Class, do you think? Obviously. Not because I’m a snob or anything, but because don’t you just love those seats that aren’t next to anyone else’s and you can get proper stretched out and comfy?

Mmm, yeah. Me, too. I’d have one of those, for sure.

As far as digs are concerned, if you have no wild objections, this suite at Claridges with the gorgeous piano will do nicely – is that okay?

Not too shabby for me. No sir. Allll good here.

It’s only right that I take afternoon tea in my room (if you please) and then – don’t tell anyone -- but I’ll jump on the bed for a bit. I might have a bath – I could take my book in there, couldn’t I? On the other hand, do you think I might be tired from my journey? Maybe a snooze would be in order. Then – do forgive me -- I’ll stuff an obscenely large wad of cash in my jeans pocket, grab my iPod and go for an explore.

First I’ll go for a pint of Moosehead at the Maple Leaf in Covent Garden. Then I’ll rock up to Camden Market where I will buy a couple of new pairs of boots. And some trainers, probably.

I’d sashay contentedly back to my hotel, pad around in my bare feet and play that piano for a bit before going to bed, where I would sleep in an obnoxious diagonal, for at least nine hours. None of that would prove overly offensive, to be sure. What say you?

I’ll fill Sunday in much of the same way, but not so as to wear myself out before the gig. I might go up to Rough Trade for a proper nosey around. I’ll need a good hour in there, minimum. I might head to Trafalgar Square to see the lions. Maybe go to the Tate Modern and listen to the inside of my head for a while.

And then -- the reason I’d be down there in the first place – Faith No More.

And, notwithstanding of course – this guy:

Mike Patton, Fantasy Husband

The setlist would include a good mix stretching the full length of their back catalogue and I’m not fussed exactly how they populate it as long as they include the following non-negotiables:

Remembering that this is a day constructed completely from fantasy, I’d throw in a couple of wacky covers as well – like the theme to the Muppet Show or some Kinks or Hollies or something. Still with me?

Continuing through the Faith No More gig of my perfect-world imagining, Patton would notice me in the throng trying not to wet myself half way through Stripsearch and pluck me out of the crowd with one arm (in this world I weigh only very slightly more than a Russian gymnast) and let me lie flat on my back in the middle of the stage to watch and listen.

Ah, feck it - we had better bring Jim Martin back while we're at it.

The whole thing would be mind-blowing and skin-crawling and legs-crossing and boobs-squirming and all the things that I’m certain the real gig is going to wind up being.

And then after? I’d float two feet off the pavement, body buzzing, ears ringing, feet killing, throat bleeding, lungs stinging, head swirling back to the hotel. Too wired to sleep, I’d go down to the bar and have a quiet drink or two; that post-concert rapture making my bone marrow fizz.

And in the ultimate perfect world? At the exact same moment the barman pours me my second, Mike Patton, too wired to sleep and wondering where that enchanting green-eyed blonde wound up, descends from his Claridges hotel room looking for a drink.

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

STONE ROSES: MANCHESTER 2012

MINE ALL MINE.

So I’ll tell you, if you like, how Himself and I came to be at the Stone Roses gig this past Sunday in Heaton Park, in Manchester.

Like most Roses fans, over the years I had learned to pay very little mind to the frequent rumours of a big reunion. Many an arrogant drunken wager was offered up on many a Friday night, me slurrily offering my next born child/my right tit/a naked stroll down Northumberland Street should they actually reform in my lifetime.

But then! The rumours started to pick up a bit more speed and substance. I raised a sceptical eyebrow, maintained my cucumber cool and tried not to let anyone see that my guts were helter skeltering. But lo -- An Official Statement...like boom! Ticket sales announcement...like pow! Then all of a sudden I find myself at work on a Friday morning clockwatching for 9am with my credit card in my hot little hand to score me some tickets for a gig that I never thought would ever materialise.

Now, dear readers – you know I am old school. I’ve slept cross legged on a sidewalk in the rain to get tickets for gigs, I’ve tag-team queued in 6 feet of winter snow for Ticketmaster outlets to open. INFINITELY preferable to the maddening process of getting tickets to a show online, and I’ll tell you that for nothing. I just can’t be handling the stress of it! I do not like the lack of control! At least in a lineup, one can, if required, use one’s considerable girth as a human blockade. But in a virtual ticketing scenario, the scariness of one’s boots/voluptuousness of one’s arse is of little matter. All you can do is have twenty-five goddam web browsers open and F5 REFRESH F5 REFRESH F5 REFRESH hoping that you don’t lose your WiFi before you smash your keyboard to bits.

I mean. COME ON.

So there I was at work. I’m F5-ing like a motherfucker – phones are ringing and I’m ignoring them. People are querying and I am growling at them. Must refresh. Must refresh. 30 minutes goes by and I’m thwarted by every error message in the virtual world. F5, F5, F5. Another 30 minutes go by and I’m trying not to hyperventilate. I am sweating. My lips are pursed, my teeth are grinding. My eyes are little slits. I am muttering all the swear words and vitriolic filth I can call to mind.

THEN! Infuriatingly – a guy at my work comes flying into the room to boast that he got through and got some tickets.

AND THEN – AGAIN! Another guy at work comes flying into the room to boast that HE also got through and got some tickets.

I am livid. In normal circumstances, I’m not a big fan of hiding my emotions and am ready to throw an unholy wobbler of a strop, but I know I do not have time because F5 F5 F5 F5.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAND THEN?! Bam. I’m in. Credit card number entered in a feverish blur and ZING – confirmation of purchase email received.

I was going. I WAS GOING! I flung my arms up into the air and let out a victorious howl. I was going.

Fucking GET IN.

(Part 2 later.)

Monday, 27 February 2012

VIVA 1988, Hate and Morrissey

SCENE: The Voluptuous Woman and the Bearded Man are in the car. They are heading southbound on the A19 and are about 5 minutes away from their house. Despite a recent haircut, the Voluptuous Woman is in fine form. Also despite a recent haircut, the man is sporting a beard that will, in a day or two’s time, be at that notable stage just after “Blithe Untidy Student” but before “Stinking Dirty Hobo”. This song is on the car stereo, and as it begins, our heroine turns the volume up a little.

VW: God, I remember when this record came out like it was yesterday. I was 13. I’d come to England to go to my Auntie Lisa’s wedding and it was big news at the time – Morrissey’s first solo album – it was everywhere. I remember coming home from that holiday and going to the library to borrow the LP.

BM: You borrowed records from the library?

VW: I totally did! I borrowed Morrissey’s ‘Viva Hate’ and T’pau ‘Bridge of Spies’.

BM: Admitting liking T’pau won’t do anything at all for your street cred.

VW: We’ve all got skeletons in our cupboards, Mr B’Witched ‘C’est la Vie’.

(the man scowls)

VW: Anyway – I think the timing of this song was pretty parallel to my sexual awakening. These lyrics drove me mad at the time.

BM: How do you mean?

VW: Well... listen to this bit – where in like, a snarly, surly, sexy way, he says:

“Were you and he lovers? If you were then say that you were...”

and then in the next verse he goes:

“ Put a note upon his desk: ‘P.S. Bring me home and have me. ‘

Leather elbows on a tweed coat? Oh, is that the best you can do?

So came his reply: ‘But on the desk is where I want you.’

So I ask (even though I know): were you and he lovers?”

BM: And?

VW: And HOLY SHIT -- that was a pretty alarming discovery for girl whose leisure time was previously filled with riding bikes and jumping rope.

BM: Aaaaaah...I see what you mean.

VW: I was like... ‘People leave rude notes for other people about doing it on desks AND THEN THEY DO IT ON DESKS?!’ Screw riding bikes – get me some leather elbows on tweed coats! Get me ‘on a canvas with the tent flaps open wide!’ I want in on this!

BM: (pensively, then mocking) I’ve got a song that was 'parallel to my sexual awakening', as it happens..

VW: Oh yeah?

BM: Mmm-hmm. Arguably less poetic than Morrissey with his tweed coats or what have you, but I know what you’re talking about.

VW: You do? What was the song?

BM: I’m not telling you the song.

VW: Tell me the song!

BM: I won't.

VW: Why not?

BM: Because you will laugh and then you will take the piss, and then you will write a blog about it.

VW: (laughs) As if...

A few minutes pass while the song ends and the couple arrives at their destination. The woman pulls into the drive, applies the handbrake and unbuckles her seatbelt. The man follows suit, and goes into the house, shutting the front door behind him. The woman is retrieving a shopping bag from the back of the car when the front door opens, and the man’s head peers out from behind it.

BM: If you must know, it was W.A.S.P.’s ‘Animal (Fuck Like a Beast.)’

The front door shuts. The woman shakes her head.

END SCENE

Sunday, 13 November 2011

In Which I Attempt a Musically Related Top 5 List

Recently, I caught a Twitter gauntlet thrown at me by the always delightful @WriteOnNZ in a conversation with the equally congenial @BretInVancouver. The challenge: to come up with a Top 5 list of songs/books/films, etc.

“IMPOSSIBLE TASK / ONLY FIVE? IT CAN’T BE DONE / THIS IS THE STUFF OF MADNESS!” quoth I; my protestations resolute and many varied.

And yet – here we are: never one to shy away from a contest, I thought I’d have a go. I figure the odds of sending myself to the loony bin could be significantly stacked in my favour if I did a Top 5 of a category of a category of song or something.

So without further ado, I give you:

TOP FIVE SONGS WHICH I CAME UP WITH OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD THE ORDER AND CONTENT OF WHICH MAY CHANGE IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES WHICH HAVE A KILLER OPENING 30 SECONDS
SUBCATEGORY: GOOSEBUMPS
SUB-SUBCATEGORY: WHICH MAKE YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SMILE GOOFILY SUB-SUB-SUBCATEGORY: IN WHICH REWINDING THE SONG TO THE BEGINNING AGAIN JUST TO HEAR THE BEGINNING AGAIN IS NOT ONLY COMPLETELY PERMISSABLE BUT KIND OF EXPECTED

Waterfall/Don’t Stop – The Stone Roses
Really, the opening 30 seconds of Don’t Stop depends very heavily on your ability to identify the ending of the previous track - Waterfall - which, if you’re a Roses fan, you know kind of meld into one another. You know how it goes: you’re grooving on the trip of the end of Waterfall, and you notice the track number on your CD player has changed so you know Don’t Stop has started, but you’re not sure exactly when. So I’m about 1:24 into Don’t Stop and here’s where you must pay attention: listen to when Reni (drummer) switches from hi-hat to whatever that other cymbal is called.... are you there? I make it about the 1:40 mark. And then? They all come together – Squire’s swirly guitar, a tambourine comes in on the 2 and the 4 and everyone follow Mani’s ascending bassline for what – five notes? It kind of goes da-da-daaaa, da-daaaa, da-daaaaa.... just before the vocal comes in? Are you there? That – that right there MAKES ME DIE.

Sweat – Tool
I have a very distinct memory of how I came to appreciate the beginning of this song: I am 16, maybe 17. I am waiting for the bus to take me to school – I am late, as usual, so I have missed the bus I should have caught, and quite possibly the one after that. I don’t care – I have a Sony Walkman. Remember the yellow one with two earphone jacks, that claimed to be waterproof? That one. I have a backpack full of Bic pens (to help rewind tapes and conserve double AA power) and loads of batteries. I’ve got the volume cranked all the way up, and this song comes on. Now, as you may or may not know, everything on headphones is intensified anyway, so while what I am about to introduce may just be one solitary strike of one solitary part of one solitary instrument, it had an eyes-rolling-into-back-of-head effect on the young bus stop me, and I wore out the buttons on that bloody yellow monstrosity all the freakin’ way to school just so I could hear it again and again and again. I’m talking about the single, solitary, smack of the drum (it kind of echoes) at about the :21 second mark before the song really starts. Love, love, love.

So Says I – The Shins
Nothing fancy about this one – another headphones discovery. The first 5 seconds I love; the guitar just trickles down, sneaks up on you and then WAH-BAM the song gets on with itself. Slick, jangly, attention grabbing.

Where the Streets Have No Name – U2
Controversial – I know they’re not everyone’s cup of tea. But they were the first band I properly lost my shit over, when I was a young, impressionable girl. I first saw them in 1992 and the introduction to this song is what I heard in my mind when, I was sitting in the back of my Dad’s Toyota on the way to the big city to see them for the first time. Ontario friends – you know when you get off the 427 by Lakeshore? The introduction to this song is the noise of the view of the majestic Toronto skyline coming around that corner.

Can’t Stop – Red Hot Chili Peppers
CONTROVERSIAL AGAIN. I love, love, love the first 30 seconds of this song, and then I fucking HATE this song. (Yes, Jason – it was necessary to swear there.) This song will also feature in an upcoming sub-category called UNIMAGINATIVE MELODY WHICH COMPLETELY RUINS AN OTHERWISE BELTER OF A TUNE. I am from the Freaky Styley Uplift Mofo Milk Magik school of Chili’s fans and this ‘new’ music they put out doesn’t grab me like it used to. But this song? This song did. I heard it one day and thought HEY, WHAT’S THIS? IS FRUSCIANTE BACK ON SMACK AGAIN, BECAUSE THIS IS GOOOOOD!!! And then Keidis comes in and covers up all that guitar divinity with a completely parallel line of melody. 2006’s biggest musical let down. Get thee to the naughty step, Anthony.

There you have it. That’s what I have produced (with the aid of my current iPod playlist). Undoubtedly there will be more, but I am spent. I need a lie down.

Honourable Mentions (Bands I Like Because of the Introductions of These Songs)
Let’s Dance to Joy Division - The Wombats
Date With the Night – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Blue Orchid – White Stripes
Never Let Me Down (Again) – Depeche Mode
Patti Smith Math Scratch – Thurston Moore
Dogs of Lust – The The
Would – Alice in Chains
Pearl Jam – Porch
Going Up (To Portland) – Swell (can't find a link!!!)
Superstition – Steve Wonder
Take the Money and Run – Steve Miller Band
The Criminal – Sons of Freedom
Dirty Boots – Sonic Youth
So Far Away – Social Distortion
How Soon is Now – Smiths
A Side Wins – Sloan (the lyrics of this will be part of my next tattoo, incidentally...)
Well Thought Out Twinkles – Silversun Pickups
Crank – Catherine Wheel

GAH! I can’t do any more. I was right the first time: THIS CAN’T BE DONE.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Instant Song Love - Fruit Bats: When U Love Somebody

Just a quickie before I go to bed.

I just watched 'Youth In Revolt' with the adorable Michael Cera (you know I have mentioned him before) and this song featured in the film, and it's so cute and lovely I wanted to share it straight away. Never heard it before. So glad I did tonight. Instant song love. What do you think?

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

30 Day Song Challenge - Part Four

day 14 - a song that makes you fall asleep

I first heard this song in 1995. I was living at Kings College in London and attending the University of Western Ontario. Through an administrative cock-up I found myself living not on the main campus with my classmates but instead down the road in an all-female residence at a Catholic college. I hated just about everything about the place – I had a couple of good friends, but I felt ferociously out of place there. I used to sleep through far too many lectures by staying up all night in the torturous company of someone who I thought was the bees-freakin’-knees, who barely noticed I was there, irrespective of the frequency and intensity of all the twirl-hairing and joke-laughing, gloss-lipping and reveal-cleavaging I could muster. One morning, my clock radio alarm woke me up and the University radio station had just started playing this song.

I lay there – paralysed by that swooping and swirling slide guitar. Frightened to even bloody breathe lest I miss any part of it. Fell back into a peaceful sleep once it had finished, but not before I managed to scribble down “swoopy swirly guitarey song at 7.53am” or something. Later, I rang the radio station to find out what it was – and lo, my love of Afghan Whigs was born.

day 15 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry

I would have liked this song to have been around a decade earlier than it was actually released. I call to mind one or two occasions that the listening of this track at full volume on repeat would have been particularly appropriate. Jason won’t let me listen to this in the car if the kids are with us, on account of the sweariness. Ha ha.

day 16 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio

English radio leaves a lot to be desired compared to the great selection of genre-specific stations I grew up with in Canada. I’ve been in the UK now since September 1999 (12 years is a long time to be away from such a great home-grown music scene) so this is a song I wished I could here on the radio here, instead of having to listen to Canadian radio online! UK readers – listen up, this is one of my favourite tracks from a cracking Canadian band out of London, Ontario (town of my alma mater).

day 17 - a song that makes you laugh

When I was little, we had a taped copy of a record we’d borrowed from some friends of ours called BBC Children’s Favourites. It was a mad compilation of wacky songs (mostly released in the 60’s and 70’s in England) and whenever we went on a road trip or holiday, it was the first tape we looked for to make up our in-car entertainment. These three were our favourites on that tape, and coupled with our ridiculous attempts at singing along (accents and all) they always had the four of us in stitches. Which, incidentally, was a useful diversionary tactic to prevent us from going bonkers while my Dad scrambled about the countryside looking for motels which still had vacancy in the wee hours of the morning.

Stay tuned -- Part 5 is coming soon!

30 Day Song Challenge - Part One

30 Day Song Challenge - Part Two

30 Day Song Challenge - Part Three

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

30 Day Song Challenge - Part Three

day 10 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
One of my hugest regrets was that the DJ at our wedding totally stank. I always said that my wedding playlist would be carefully chosen, to make sure that there’d be no annoying pop fluff and Top 40 annoyances. And in the end, we were so busy trying to sort out everything else that we went to the Yellow Pages and hired the first person who fit our budget.

So, 9 years late, please accept my sincere apologies (those of you who may have attended my wedding) for the totally shit music. Sure, we danced our first dance to the below song (the only one we could agree on at the time; another hasty decision) but I violently opposed the rest of the DJ’s playlist, it was wrong wrong wrong. If we’d been married 5 years later, we’d have had a computer by then and we’d have snobbishly arranged a series of mix CD’s and hired our own PA.

If I could go back in time to August 2002 (in addition to making sure that my arse was considerably smaller at the time, of course) I would ensure that the following soppy little gems were included in the setlist:

day 11 - a song that you wish you could play

When I was about 11, I begged my Mum and Dad to let me have piano lessons. I really enjoyed them, and did reasonably well. But when I reached university I stopped playing. Not good enough to enter the BMus programme at Western, I opted for the Comparative Literature course and, hoping to find a kindred spirit while I was away from home, I chose an “idiot-version” music appreciation/performance course from the prospectus. I didn’t find a single friend there; the lecture was filled with people who out-played, out-smarted and out-performed me at every turn – you know the type… those child prodigies whose strict parents forced them to spend 4 hours at the piano every day, who were “persuaded” into the school of dentistry, or law, who wanted a “fun” course to take? I had this piano tutor – ugh, she was a shrew – and (no doubt fuelled by my obvious disinterestedness and lack of commitment) one day told me, “Your hands are wrong.” Apparently, according to her, I hold my fingers wrong at the keyboard. Something about the tips of my fingers and the pads of my fingers. Funny how the alleged deficiency escaped the notice of the examiners at the Royal Conservatory, but she was resolute in her insistence that I try it her way and bellyached about it c0nstantly. It knocked my aptitude two grades lower and took my confidence with it, and I dropped the course shortly after. So the song I wish I could play? Anything along these lines:

day 12 - a song from your childhood

My propensity toward music-snobbery isn’t accidental, as those who know me well would surely bear witness. It was genetically bestowed upon me through my Dad. Along with his green eyes and short temper, I inherited from him an obsessive music fanatic chromosome. I lost count of the amount of times my brother and I were plonked on the middle cushion of the sofa (that precise location of course being equal distance between the two speakers) while my Dad waxed lyrical/melodic/rhythmical/harmonious (delete as appropriate) trying to get us to hear the same thing that he heard. It could have been a line of melody, it could have been a phrase with a particularly pretty harmony, a lyric, or a riff or a chord progression, whatever. Much to his perpetual dismay, we never heard it – of course, our Dad’s music was Dad Music – but I get it now. My friend Lindsay and I affectionately dub these “Rewinder Moments” – you know what I mean… when you find a part of a song that you think is so amazing that you can’t even get to the end of the song before you have to rewind back to the beginning and hear it again. Anyway – what a long winded way of arriving to the point – the songs from my childhood I would choose:

And I’ve already linked to The Swimming Song by Loudon Wainwright here; but that song would be amongst these as well.

day 13 - your favourite song at this time last year

Well, that’s easy. I just looked at my blog archives for the day closer to this date… turns out it was my post on Adam and the Ants that I was listening to this time last year.

Stay tuned -- more later.

Sunday, 20 March 2011

30 Day Song Challenge - Part Two

day 04 - a song that makes you sad
Well, this was easy. I spent a great deal of my formative years collecting songs that made me sad, so that I’d have a soundtrack to accompany all that bad poetry I was writing.

For a lot of years, I couldn’t listen to this first one. Let me give you a bit of context: if you check my Gig List, you’ll see that on 21 September 1996 I saw Pearl Jam in Toronto. That was the night my brother Jonathan died... and I link this song to that every single time I hear it. I’m okay with it now – sometimes I can listen, but sometimes I know when I have to switch it off.

Here’s another – Jason wants this playing at his funeral.

This one doesn’t exactly make me sad – but it certainly isn’t going to cheer me up if I’m feeling maudlin. It fits in with the other two.

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
I’m going to cheat with this one and refer you to this post about songs that remind me of girls, and this post about songs that remind me of boys.

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
Hmmmm.... lots of songs remind me of somewhere. Usually linked to what I was doing at the time and what songs I was listening to at the time. The whole of Swell’s “Too Many Days Without Thinking” reminds me of a trip to England I took in 1997. I rented this tiny little car, and had this album on a tape for those long drives.

If you don’t have this record – WHY NOT?! Go and download it at once. It’s one of my favourites ever, ever, ever. You know those records that you can’t choose just one song? That the whole thing, from start to finish, is bloody brilliant? Like The Stone Roses first album, and Radiohead’s “OK Computer”? This Swell CD is like that. Here’s a song from it:

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event

Can you class an episiotomy as an event? Because I can feel my stitches when I hear this song. Just kidding – sorry to be gross... but it does remind me of when we brought Ben home from the hospital. We had been in hospital for about a week, and we finally were allowed to bring him home. We carried him into the flat, put his carseat on the floor of the living room and sat on the sofa, staring at him. Then I promptly burst into tears, and had a bit of a WHAT-THE-CRAP-DO-WE-DO-WITH-HIM-NOW type of outburst... and then Jason settled me down with this song and a cuddle. And then we ate Subway sandwiches.

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to

I know a lot of words to a lot of songs... but I am quite proud to say that I know all the words to this song, as there are so many of them.

LENN! ERD! BERN! STEIN!

day 09 - a song that you can dance to

If you happened to stray into Kitchener’s Club Abstract any Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday night between oh... let’s say 1994 and 1998, and any of the following songs were playing, you’d find me on the dance floor.

Stay tuned -- more later.

Friday, 18 March 2011

Iron & Wine, Sage Gateshead, Wednesday 16 March 2011

There were three gigs to choose from in Newcastle/Gateshead this week – all on Wednesday night. The Academy was hosting Primal Scream (seen ‘em), Elbow was at the Arena (too expensive) and Iron + Wine were coming to The Sage. Since I was practically broke from seeing The Wonder Stuff on Saturday and The Wombats the week before, It was an easy choice to make.

I’ve only got one record – The Sea + the Rhythm – which, if you don’t know, is a little EP released on Sub Pop in 2003. It’s full of some real corkers – a man, an acoustic guitar and not much more. But you can’t go too far wrong with that kind of equation, so accompanied by a friend of mine (who only knew ‘of’ them) and after my description of what they were like he was firmly on board, so off we went.

But before I tell you what I think, can I please have a moment for a brief narrative in a scene-setting stylee which, I hope, will give some context to my review.

Over my distinguished and extensive career in music snobbery, there are a few points on which I am emphatically resolute:

1. No Top 40 Pop Fluff

2. No Country & Western

3. No Thrashy Vomit Noise-Making Death Metal

4. …and absolutely, for no reason, by no means, certainly not, under no circumstances ANY JAZZ.

Now that we are clear, please allow me to continue.

I wondered how the lovely Mr Sam Beam would handle bringing the one-man-one-guitar thing to the ‘big stage’ – Hall One at the Sage is a 1,640-seater so I was curious how intimate it could be, given the unsophisticated simplistic charm of the records.

It was… okay. There were moments of brilliance: I love the story-telling nature of the songs, and romantic sap that I am, I very easily got swept up in the romance of the lyrics and found that for the most part I was enjoying myself. But the whole thing was tainted slightly by the frequent and unfortunate downward crash into extended passages of jazz-pap-shite. It was quite quiet in there and I suspect it wasn’t received very well in more seats than just my own; I can’t have been alone in thinking OH MY GOD THE JAZZ.

Beam himself must have sensed it, saying, “I hope you don’t mind us fucking with your favourite songs like this. I figured you’d want to hear something a bit different to what’s on the records.” Ouch. Bad call – we minded. I found myself not even recognizing the song until the melody started, and more than once leaned over to my friend to babble apologetically to him, “It sounds NOTHING like this on the CD, I promise!”

But, I have no wish to be too harsh – I did enjoy it. The drummer was handy with a loop pedal, and there were some cool moments that employed its use. I am sad that it is not very likely that my friend will go and buy an Iron + Wine CD after all.

Here's a couple of videos for you. They ended with “Naked As We Came” – that, to my great relief and pleasure, was largely unaltered arrangement-wise. Sorry the video is mostly of the ceiling of the Sage – no one was taking any pictures so I was trying to hide my camera.

Maybe I should have gone to see Elbow after all.

Monday, 14 March 2011

The Wonder Stuff & The Levellers, O2 Academy Newcastle

Oh, I'm so, SO glad I went to this show!

I wasn't going to. In fact, The Wonder Stuff have come to Newcastle a couple of times in recent years and I don't know why, but I never went along. And their most recent visit to my fair city very nearly went the same way -- it was a Sunday night... they weren't even headlining... I felt slightly over hung from the previous nights' festivities... a million reasons why I was going to stay home.

But then! Someone I know said she was going, and that I could hook up with her and her friends once I got there, and so yesterday afternoon I decided to buy a ticket at the last minute and go. (Thanks Julie & girls whose names I completely forget! You're fab!)

It was a brilliant show -- I broke with tradition and stood right at the front and had plenty of room to dance and jump (oh, my achin' bones though, today!) I don't mind telling you that I had an absolute blast. It wasn't 2011, it was 1993! They played all of my favourites - A Wish Away, Give Give Give Me More More More, Red Berry Joy Town and a lovely acoustic version of Welcome to the Cheap Seats. You may or may not know that the album version of that song features the inimitable Kirsty MacColl on backing vocals -- here is a little bit of video from last night of Miles Hunt telling us how she came to make the record with them:

The whole place was bouncing. For me, the best bit was the collective admiration and all around good time we were all having was effortlessly matched by Miles Hunt; his smile never wavered the whole time he was on stage. The guy has been making a living from playing gigs like that for the best part of probably far too many years than he'd care for me to mention... yet he was loving every minute. And don't even get me started on his dimples.

(swoon)

Seriously, though? He danced, and told stories; his enthusiasm and vivacity was highly infectious and inspired us all sing along with that much more conviction. Would that they have played for another hour!

I drove home with the type of warm fuzzies one can only get from having crossed someone off my "Yet To See Live" list. Hope you enjoy the video - sorry they're so fuzzy and distorted - you can just about make out Size of a Cow in the one above, and here is a little bit of A Wish Away:

Oh, The Levellers? I'm rubbish - I only recongised the first song. Much to the chagrin and outrage of ~~The Levellers Number One Fan~~ the guy standing next to me who chastised me for not knowing every word... I made some feeble excuse about being hung over from the night before, and despite receiving from him a drunken serenade accompanying the band with this song, he staggered off forlorn, but not before accusing me of having a heart of stone for not being moved to tears.

Ah, you win some, you lose some. Sorry, fan boy. My heart belongs to Miles.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

30 Day Song Challenge - Part 1

Someone sent me a link to Facebook's "30 Day Song Challenge"... I thought I'd bring it over here, instead. I'll do it over a few days. It has been harder than I thought!

day 01 - your favourite song
Tricky, tricky, tricky. No, I don’t mean this guy. I mean – how the crap do I choose? Impossible. In the immortal words of that nun chick from that movie with the nuns, “How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?” Here are a few that will always be right up there:

day 02 - your least favourite song
Well...it’s true what they say; there is a thin line between love and hate, right? So just as I struggle to choose a favourite song, I will likewise with my least favourite. So I’ll let you choose, if you like: log on to BBC Radio1 and whatever is playing now? I’ll choose that.

I’m very good at working out whether or not I don’t like something. What is slightly trickier is working out whether or not I do. Strangely enough, sometimes when I first hear something that I immediately like, it will wind up being one of those things I will eventually grow tired of, and be irritated by. And yet, some records towards which I felt an initial ambivalence will wind up being those you’ll find stuffed in my coffin around my cold, dead body. Weird, I know.

Here’s one that I definitely hate, and am definitely NOT going to change my mind about:

day 03 - a song that makes you happy
Here’s a couple – impossible to be pissed off if these are within listening distance:

I think that's enough for now... stay tuned

Sunday, 6 March 2011

The Wombats, Get People, O2 Academy, Newcastle upon Tyne, Saturday 5 March 2011

I love a good crowd shot, me.

You’ll know from this post that there aren’t many bands that Jase and I both like. But – wha-hoo – because The Wombats were playing in our town last night, and we both like them.

So off we go!

I really liked the gig – it was a sell-out and the Academy was packed. Packed WITH TEENY TINY CHILDREN. Whooooo baby, did we feel old last night. But, ~~nasty bitch~~ ever the optimist that I am, I was able to turn a uncomfortable situation into a positive one, and spent a happy hour before the headliner came on by developing my discourse on “Kids These Days”.

Jason thinks it’s despicable and small-minded of me but in my defence, HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THEY’RE WEARING? Are we at a garden party with that floral shorts set and old-people’s-home cardigan, or are we at a rock concert? PULL UP THOSE TROUSERS, YOUNG MAN! Don’t even get me started on their shoes.

Be all that as it may – we missed the first support band entirely. I wish I could say the same for the second support band; they were called Get People and they were pretty boring. Have a listen for yourself but I thought their setlist was one degree away from what you’d find badly dubbed on a Maxell C-90 in the tape collection of that guy from American Psycho. There are lots of good things about the 80’s and the music scene, don’t get me wrong. The foundations of my own musical tastes were fired there, and it was an exciting time for a lot of people.

So, be inspired by the music from that time? Sure. “Borrow” a few tricks and aural flourishes here and there? Quirky. But what I heard last night was a blatant style-for-style rip off of all that was bad about the music of that time. Sorry lads; I was half expecting this guy to come out and provide guest vocals, and not even in a good way. Just about every song ended with the same noise that Ross’s song ends with here. Not my scene. But you know, I am not a kid these days, and all that.

Anyway – WOMBATS! Hurrah! I loved it. First I heard of them was a few years ago; they got a bit of SXSW buzz about them in 2007 with their single "Let's Dance to Joy Division". Proud to call myself a card-carrying moody and defensive lifetime Joy Division nut, I was prepared to be outraged on their behalf when I first heard OF this song - BUT it's so great I didn't mind it taking up residence in my ear and subsequently bought the whole record. And I'm glad - it's gem.

They came out and attacked their set; really looked like they were enjoying themselves and had the whole floor jumping. They played a good mix of new stuff and old – their 2007 release “A Guide to Love, Loss and Desperation” has some great little numbers, and I’m looking forward to picking up their forthcoming album “A Modern Glitch” when it is released this year. You might already know their newest single "Tokyo (Vampires & Wolves)" which they finished the set with last night with full audience participation.

Standing safely at the back; didn't even break a sweat. But heard everything and enjoyed it all. :-)

Enjoy the video!

Monday, 28 February 2011

Totally Friends With Billy The Subways

I wander into the kitchen to help Jason with the dishes. This is uncharacteristic of me – we normally have a bit of an arrangement: I make the mess; he cleans it up. You might think that a bit unfair, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Those of you who know Jason well will know he loves it in there; his borderline obsessive-compulsive personality is directly conducive to all that dishes / sweeping / wiping / antibacterial-wipe-cleansering palaver. But I digress; the point is that he was in there and so was I, and like any evening Chez Proctor the DAB radio is on.

So, we do this dumb thing with the radio, every day it’s the same: if he leaves the room I switch it onto BBC 6Music. I have mentioned them once or twice here before. If I manage to do this, and then absentmindedly leave the room myself, he switches it onto Planet Rock. This is what we do. Anyway – he’s on his hands and knees washing the floor (no, I’m not kidding) so it means that the dial was stuck on the latter. No matter – it happened to be a band that I quite like.

“You know what it is?” he says. “I just really don’t like The Ramones.”

“What?” I stop drying the plate I am holding.

He doesn’t look up from his position on the floor, and says again, “I just don’t like The Ramones.”

“But you have that greatest hits CD,” I remind him.

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure you can have that CD,” he says.

I am happy for this floor-washing inspired generosity but simultaneously a little disappointed – I can count on one hand (hmm... okay, maybe two hands and a partial foot) the number of bands that we both like – we can hardly ever go to gigs together as it is – my tastes are bent toward the jangly-clinky-clanky and his are more growly-barf-chuggy. In this particular instance it is of little matter I suppose; it’s not exactly as if Joey Ramone is in any position to rally the lads up for a reunion show any time soon.

“So what you’re saying is that in our musical divorce, I would get custody of The Ramones,” I deduce.

He nods. “Without hesitation.”

“I suppose you’d lay claim to The White Stripes then?” I enquire.

“Nah, they’re not really worth fighting over,” he says, dismissively.

I deliberately sass him: “I get The Subways.”

“Don’t even think about it,” he says. “It was me who bought their first CD; you only like them because I played them for you.”

“Whatever, punk. I’m like... totally friends with Billy The Subways on Twitter, anyway. I follow him and once he Retweeted a joke I made this one time.”

“I don’t know what this means," he dismisses me with a shake of his head. "But I’m pretty sure it doesn’t affect the argument; I will be guardian of The Subways.” He is cocky. It is unbecoming; transparent. He’s a pussy, really.

This is what we’re like when we do the washing up together. He can fucking** do it himself, tomorrow night.

**I just read this aloud to him and he said, "That was good right up until the swearing bit at the end."

Sunday, 6 February 2011

Songs in the Key of GRRRL

Okay, okay. So from deep within a hazy fug of cold and flu medication of this weekend, I resolved to balance the spheres a little by making another post for girls. So you see -- I'm not a fickle hearted turbo slut. Honest! I just attach music to people. To places, to significant life events. So to balance everything out -- here is a list for the girls in my life.

I bet they'll all be able to work themselves out. Leave a comment if you see yourself in this list. Sames goes as before - sometimes more than one track per person, sometimes more than one person per track. Enjoy! :-)

I’ll be the alto if you’re the soprano:

Handel – Hallelujah Chorus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usfiAsWR4qU

Harses, harses, harses... ding-a-ling-a-LIIIIIING:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PU7ud3SIALc

How Many Times? FUCK, I lost count – start it again:

Daft Punk – Around the World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGcb_F313is

If I close my eyes I can see her dancing:

Beastie Boys – So What Cha Want
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru3gH27Fn6E

It’s wrong to dance like this when you’re driving.

Weezer – My Name is Jonas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbwI2-nJ0Tw

What are they playing in the big room? I don’t fucking know, it’s probably GWAR.

The Prodigy – Poison
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0r4FYv_Kxk

Who needs one watch when you can wear four?

Pavement – Stereo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnrM4UjaQmY

The Shins – Kissing the Lipless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOZoNWc94qc

The Trash Can Sinatras – Blood Rush
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl7rQ-SF0CI

Crying, crying, crying every time I hear it.

Wedding Processional from The Sound of Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZokb-o0yEs&feature=related

BEANS ON TOAST!

Duran Duran – Girls on Film
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCjMZMxNr-0

Go dooooown, baby.

Consolidated – You Suck (feat. The Yeastie Girls)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoyUUu1rPhE

Yodelling road trips.

The Lonely Goatherd from The Sound of Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWaMJ331oYM

Time me and see if I can dance for the entire song without having a heart attack.

Pulp – Common People
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqgXzPfAxjo

Tarot me, roommate love:

Dionne Farriss – I Know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Na6u8uOWt7c

JUMP OVER AND TOUCH HIM, everybody’s doing it.

The Lemonheads – Rockin’ Stroll
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ7It3Zf7jI&feature=fvst

I can still hear you singing this - better than the orginial, I always thought.

Eric’s Trip – About You

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Again-Erics-Trip/dp/B0000035GR

Share my headphones in the hallway – too bad the Manics became shit.

Manic Street Preachers – Love’s Sweet Exile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DboXoTyiXbM

I’m oafff-ly pride of you, let’s watch Lonely Planet.

RHPS – Sweet Transvestite
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo&feature=related

Aww. Love my lovely girlies.

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Fortissimo Friday: ALL OF THEM FOREVER?

Hope you’ve all had a brilliant holiday... it’s nearly New Years Eve! I am not blogging properly because I am trapped underneath a giant pile of LEGO, held together by Play-Doh with a candy cane sticking out each nostril and my head resting on a pile of Quality Street sweet papers. While I wait for someone to rescue me, here is a little playlist of my Friday tracks from 2010 and 2009: